My pursuit of new life: Roanoke

First a little housekeeping. I added a "gadget" on the right hand column where you are supposed to be able to enter your email address and get notifications when I post a new entry. Not sure if it works but give it a try.

I returned to Roanoke with mixed emotions, not being sure how I would feel about Roanoke and how the people I knew here would receive me. We moved here in '94 and my job was to start a new pediatric oncology program where one had never before existed. There were lots of obstacles to our move both professionally and personally. The center that had cared for the SW Virginia patients didn't want the program and pressured the administration to refrain from hiring me, or anyone else. In addition, Debbie had never lived outside of the Columbia area, Courtney was entering her senior year in high school and Brent was totally against leaving his friends. All three of them suffered from the move. But move we did.

It was exciting to start something from scratch. It didn't just involve medicine, it involved politics, promotion and persistence. But the program got rolling, we started seeing some newly diagnosed cancer patients, assembled a terrific team to care for the kids and professionally I was on a roll. But my family suffered and, as a result, my relationship with Debbie and the kids suffered as well. Debbie and Brent suffered the most and our marriage had some rocky times. One seminal event that transpired while we were in Roanoke was that Debbie's grandmother passed away. Debbie was extremely close with her grandmother and her passing was the stimulus for her to begin a closer walk with the Lord. And I am convinced it was her fervent prayers and Christian example that softened my heart giving the Holy Spirit fertile ground on which to change me.

We had been in Roanoke for two and a half years when my former Columbia department chairman called me and asked if I would come back to Columbia to take over as head of the division of peds hematology/oncology. He asked me what the noise in the background was and I said, "it's Debbie packing!" That was in December, 1996 and by April, 1997 I was back in Columbia. Needless to say that was a shock to the Roanoke oncology program and the patients and families who had put their faith in what we had started. Everyone was kind, they gave me a very nice party but I always had the feeling that they felt abandoned. I had never really started something and not finished it (except my first marriage which was my biggest failure in my life).

The last two days have been quite eye opening. First, M's parents have been incredible hosts. They have made me feel at home and said that they felt that God had placed me in their lives just to be God's instrument to heal their son. They have truly let me come and go as I wished and loved on me, supported me and prayed for me. Last evening I had dinner with the nurse who was my first hire for peds oncology and her husband. She was as sweet as she was the day I hired her away from the general peds clinic and became the constant face of the clinic. It felt s if I had never left. We laughed about the early pioneer days when it was just the two of us. We wondered how we ever got through it all.

Today I went to the clinic which had relocated to another hospital and was greeted with a "so you're the famous Dr. Neuberg!" A volunteer whom I had recruited to help out in the clinic 20+ years ago was still there and the staff surprised her with my arrival. We were so happy to see one another. One of the PICU docs just "happened" to be off this afternoon and we took a hike up a mountain with his dog. He affirmed to me that he would fondly bring up my name in conversation with some of the old geezers from time to time.

All this is to say that God used and multiplied the three years I spent here for His purposes. It made me wonder about all the times we don't think we are accomplishing all that we feel God wants us to accomplish but He uses it for His purposes. Debbie struggled with feeling as though she was a disappointment to God because she was so anxious about her disease coming back. But then so many people would approach us and thank her for being such a witness to the power of God in her life.

Lord, thank you that you don't waste anything. Thank you that you are always working to multiply all that we hope to accomplish and more. Give us eyes to see, ears to hear where you want us to plant seeds, large and small, that will bear Kingdom fruit for YOUR purposes, not ours.

In Jesus' name
Amen